Wednesday, June 09, 2004 ++

crap. its 237 in the morning of a new day. i've never seen a sun rise before. i think i had, but i didnt noticed it. i've ignored mother nature completely. guessed was my ignorant that made me missed alot of things. the power of friendship, the strength of relationships. i've been so busy with daily work i've even neglected my mom. i must have been really bad.

as O level is approaching, many are burying their darn head in the book mine. does it help? i wanted to be like them. that was my goal for this holiday. but i failed. i spent endless time on the internet, doing this darn blog and fighting with my darn attitude.

eventhough god said he'll do the rest, it comes with a condition, that is if u do your best. i havent done my best. my best effort is being destroyed by my laziness. how am i gonna overcome this. i wanna do my parents proud, cos i'm the only one who can bring that glory light upon them.

friends, lovely people they may seem, however the spikes beneath them are terrifying. as the world is getting more open, their spikes are getting more and more visual day by day. its hard to find someone who u could tell ur problems to. if u have one... u're one lucky fella. i havent got one. they're either cant be bothered or just too lazy to listen.

every morning, while i'm walking to the bus stop. i see people brushing through the roads. i wonder, why do they live? do they live to enjoy or just enjoying the wonders of living? or perhaps money rule their lifes. this thinking is very wrong, i tell you. money can never control us, once it does, u're dead. DEAD. money has caused many families to break apart. because of money, countries have wars. the young generation die young while the older, just die.

oh god. is this why u made life? i hope not! in this world, too many are being discriminated. do u think those people in prison all did something terribly wrong. they must have their reasons for doing so. just no one listens to them. they only do when they did the wrong thing. kill, rob whatever they may be. its not their fault.

people get stucked on things sometimes. relax people, look around u. the chirping of the birds, the wonders of the rainbows and the richness of the soil. its all beautiful. did u notice it? i bet u didnt even notice that there's someone who's secretly supporting u morally and giving u all the help u need in the world to step into the carpet of success. spend some time reflect. it does do good.

reflecting on oneself could help improve the person. but its always up to the person to decide whether to change for the better or worst.it all depends on the muturity of that person. i like my frankness, although some people couldnt accept facts. i feel sorry for them. i hate my attitude. which part of the family gene it came from? i guess this attitude is the culprit of all my crimes. the way i made mr sim feel like a downright idiot. i feel guilty. but i couldnt stand the way he demoralise us. it just dumb. i guess this is what we call personality. everyone have a different personalities and views. because of this flaws we have, it made no human a perfect person. i guess this is me.
3:08 AM

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